Thursday 26 February 2015

Seeing Clearly

It's been a rough few weeks. I say weeks, maybe it's longer. It is a gradual build up of all the things you have to do getting on top of you and being compounded by unforeseen events.

But, right now, I am sitting in the garden in the shade with a coffee...on...my...own.I don't remember when I last did this (excluding times the kids were asleep upstairs and my husband walking the dog). I don't remember the last time I really felt like this time was my own. I only have an hour right now. I have to pick up the eldest soon. But, my husband plans to watch them both while I go out later, too. On my own.

I have needed this, yearned for this. Solitude, reflection, quiet, choices. Selfishly becoming unselfish.

On my own
Where I can think my own thoughts
Where I can swing my arms, not constricted by pushing or carrying
On my own
Where I can choose to slow down
Where I can choose to speak, or to remain quiet and reflective
On my own
Where I can change my mind
Where I can cross empty streets diagonally, at my pace
On my own
Where I can converse freely
Where strangers do not see me as Mother, and friends see just Me
On my own
Where I can regain strength
Where I can fill myself up with whatever my spirit calls for
On my own
Where I can contemplate
Where I can remember why I give so much, every day, willingly
Where the love I have for the people who I give most to resurfaces like a gasping sea bird that was submerged for too long.


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