Saturday 18 July 2015

Exhaustion

Exhaustion
It's something we parents know so well,
something we yearn to be free from.
Sometimes it makes us feel utterly lost
and we doubt how we can possibly continue.

Being a mother or father, it exhausts on many levels

Our patience withers, we say things we regret.
Motivation becomes so diminished that the mere act of leaving the house becomes an undertaking that defies comprehension. Getting out of ones pyjamas should surely come first.
Time - to actually do something seemingly productive - is a laughable myth. Sure, the kids are fed (just) and happy enough...but who notices?
Your sense of self can be so elusive that you wonder if you will ever encounter it again. A glimpse of yourself in a shop window reflection: you see a woman you aren't sure you would want to leave your children with.
Your sense of humour has long taken a back seat to your sense of responsibility, and even your sense of smell - a soiled nappy can be sensed moments before it actually exists.
And, of course, your energy is zapped. So exhausted can you be that you literally feel yourself waking up sporadically and hearing the voices of your children in the background. A quick assessment that all sounds relatively safe and the mind blanks itself again. You wonder how you will make it to bed time. And whether you're fit to be a parent right now.


But, there is one thing that is ever present, no matter how invisible it may seem at times. Something which, if confronted with one of your children in danger, would kick-start your tired, withered, lost, resentful self and send it furiously into action.
Love is never exhausted.
And with love, we will get through the darkest days and conquer our worst fears.