I had the good fortune to come across a comment to one of my recent posts (http://nolabelmama.blogspot.co.nz/2015/01/its-not-competition.html) somewhere in the land of Web. A woman saying that it confused her and, essentially, made her think that perhaps she should avoid complimenting others for fear of unknowingly upsetting others.
So, let's talk about that.
I think compliments can be wonderful. They can turn an ordinary day into a glowing one; one where your stand straighter, walk with purpose, smiling all the while, bolstered simply by a few kind words. They can turn a dark day into one of hope and resolution. Please, don't stop your kindness!
But, I believe, that they can be constricting: compounding limitations that are put on us but society.
So, if you're compliment involves, for example, telling a woman how great she looks, then consider adding something like 'and how are you feeling?' Or, 'but have you had much time to *insert personal hobby here*?' Giving genuine opportunities for women to talk about themselves as a whole, rather than assuming that, because she looks good to you, she must be happy (it's so easy to do, we are constantly bombarded with the message that, as a woman, all else pales in importance compared to our appearance) is a really tangible thing we can all strive to do for each other.
I say: keep on complimenting! But, mix it up. Look for beauty where you don't usually; notice the things about people that you love...and tell them; open yourself up to genuine curiosity about other people's lives; personalities, dreams, hobbies, worries, talents; get to really know them.
I say this with an air of someone who has perfected this, but that's far from the truth. I am a work in progress, and always will be.
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